Almost is never enough
by April-Showers82
Summary: Bella is forced to choose who she wants.


Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from Twilight, nor its characters.

Tricky Raven Weekly Fanfiction Flash Fic Prompt #19: Almost is never enough.

Standing in the Taj, Jacob and I are again arguing about what I know is a senseless topic.

"You don't know the position that you are putting me in here Jake.

"What position Bells? The position to finally be honest with yourself? To finally admit that you love me just as much, if not more than your bloodsucker? Huh? Huh?" Jake says in exasperation.

"Jake, you know that you are my best friend, but I can't. I just can't." I continued to tell this lie to the both of us. I was so afraid that he would imprint and leave me behind. Plus, he deserved someone far less broken and misshapen than I am. Someone who could give him what he deserves.

"Oh great, Bells, just great. You know what? Fine, just go. I gave you everything that I am and it still isn't enough is it?" Jake yells and storms off in the direction of his house.

My heart breaks at the sight of him walking away from me. I finally pushed the best thing in my life away. I hated what I'd done, mostly I just hated myself. I dragged myself to my truck and pulled off. I couldn't take the silence any longer and I turned on the radio that Jacob painstakingly fixed.

A pop song came on by Ariana Grande that I loved, but would never admit it to anyone especially Jake. It was a duet about two people who were denying their feelings, yet they couldn't hide them from anyone. Everyone that knew them knew that they were in love. This song always reminded me of Jake and I.

I couldn't help but to think about the possibility of us, of Jake and Bells meaning so much more. I couldn't lose my best friend, my sun. I have nothing to offer him, nothing that is worth the love, life, and beauty that he has graciously given me. However, the more I drove away from him, the more this undeniable pull remained. It felt like billions of cables connecting me to Jake.

I at first thought that Jake had imprinted on me, but I remembered that he said that he would never do that. So, I just pushed it out of my mind; but lately the need to see Jake, to be with Jake has started to become unbearable. Yet, I can't just walk away from Edward. He and his family put their lives on the line for me too. They have welcomed me with almost open arms. More so than anyone has before them. I now had the family that I have always wanted, but why did it feel completely wrong? Before, I knew exactly what I wanted. Now, I am no longer so sure.

A blur caught my eyes on the side of the road. It then dashed in front of my truck. I tried to stop but I couldn't stop in time to keep myself from hitting whatever was just outside of my car's high beams. I hit whatever it was in the road and hit my head on the steering wheel, effectively knocking myself out.

I woke up the next morning to sunlight streaming through the curtains. My head hurt horribly and I felt nauseous. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe deeply. That's when I smelled it. The most heavenly scent imaginable. Jacob. I must be in his bed, but how did I get here? I suddenly remembered what happened. I jumped out of his bed and ran into the kitchen only to stop dead in my tracks.

There was my sun in his boxer briefs standing at the stove stirring a pot. The muscles in his back and shoulders moved with his motions; almost hypnotizing me with their sensual dance. I can definitely say that I may have died and went to heaven. No man should have an ass like that. One that was meant for grabbing and holding on to.

"Are you going to keep staring at my ass, or are you going to sit down so that I could feed you? How is your head, honey?" Jake tosses over his shoulder with his trademark smirk firmly in place.

I huffed at his attitude and just sat at the table, on the opposite side so that I could continue to marvel at the most divine rump in front of me. Whether he felt my stare or not, Jacob never reacted to it. It was almost like he ignored it. He just chuckled at my huff and continued stirring.

"Jake, what happened? Did I hit you?" I said worriedly. I couldn't help but wonder why he would make me do something like that.

"How are you feeling? Are you hungry?" Jacob asked ignoring my questions.

"Damn it Jake! What is going on?" I demanded. I was furious with him for putting both of our lives in danger.

Jacob just turned the stove off and moved over to the counter placing his hands on it, while facing away from me. I could tell that he was tense and that he wanted to gather the right words before he spoke them. I just let him have this time because I knew that he would never hold anything from me.

"Isabella, do you love me?" Jacob asks still with his back turned towards me.

I knew that there was no way that I would find out what I wanted to know if I didn't answer him truthfully. I was sure that Jacob could hear my heartbeat race like a hummingbird. I couldn't lie or stall him any longer. I took a deep breath before I answered him.

"Jake, you know that I love you…"

"That is not what I asked. Do you love me, Isabella?" Jake said. His tone told me that no amount of hedging would work. His wolf must be closer to the surface than he'd like. The thought of that thrilled me. I began to really wonder if something is certifiably wrong with me. Suddenly I noticed Jacob lift his head and take a huge sniff. A low grumble rolled off of him. I could feel myself become more and more aroused as his wolf made his presence known.

"Yes, Jake, I love you. I'm _in _love with you. I just have nothing to offer you. I am not good enough for you." I began until he just held up his right hand to stop my speech. He maintained his stance.

"Yes, that was me. I couldn't let you leave without saying this. Isabella, you have to understand what you are to me, to us, my wolf and I. I imprinted on you the day that Harry died and we almost kissed in your kitchen. I couldn't take back what I had just said, but I still wanted you to love me without the imprint. To choose me. Each day that you spend with _him_ makes my skin crawl and it breaks my heart. I wouldn't push you to tell me you love me if I didn't feel it loud and clear through the imprint bond. You are the very reason I exist. You give me a purpose in this life. I would fight anything and everything to protect you; even protect you from yourself.

You need to choose. You will not have both of us in your life. I know that you think of them as human, but they are not. Regardless to whether they drink human or animal blood, they still need blood to survive. They take away the lives of innocents. You should actually see the carnage that they leave behind for us to deal with. Native predator and prey animals numbers are dwindling the longer they are here. You refuse to see them as they are which makes me wonder do you actually see me, see the Pack as we truly are. We are Protectors, that's not just a title; it is literally ingrained in us, into our very DNA. We protect innocent lives from being slaughtered to sustain unnatural beings.

I love you Bella, but this back and forth dance that we constantly do has to end. You need to figure out who you want and stick to it. Here eat a little and I will give you some space while I work on your truck," Jacob said while fixing her plate. After he was done, Jacob went to his room to put some pants on and left the house.

I had no choice but to do what Jacob told me to do. Jacob's tone was taking on more of his wolf's growls than ever before. I knew that not only was the man talking to me, but his wolf was as well. It never dawned on me exactly how the wolf felt about me. Sure, I've almost always knew Jacob the man's feelings, but never Jacob the wolf. Jacob was wrong about how I viewed everyone. I clearly know who and what everyone is, their true nature. I've been exposed to more danger and hurt than any other human being that I know.

Nonetheless, I have to be honest. Jacob never brought danger to my doorstep. In fact he's almost always driven it away. With Jacob, I don't have vampires out for my blood, or royal vampires who want to turn me into some type of weapon. All he has ever done was love and protect me. He never coddled me, never made me feel as if my thought and opinions were childish, even if they were. He let me make my own decisions instead of telling me who I should be around because the other party isn't safe. He may have left me to protect me when he first phased, but he sure as hell fought hard to get back to me once I confronted him. I never took the time to realize how much I resented and was angry at Edward. I tried to hold on and superimpose the love that I once felt for him. I deluded myself into believing that I couldn't live without him, when in fact I have.

I may have been in pain when Jacob left me, but it never consumed me like it did with Edward. I actually found my backbone when he did. I never really took the time to look at things. After thinking things through a bit more, I knew what I had to do. I'm glad that Jake never took my clothes off from the night before; all I had to do was put my shoes on and be out the door.

As I made my way to the Taj, I just couldn't help but be nervous. I just hoped that I didn't muck things up any more than what they already were. Not for what I was going to do now, but later. I wasn't sure how any of them would take what I had to say, but I think Rosalie will support me in every way.

Jacob met me at the door. I just stood there looking at the man that he has become. I know that he never wanted to be Alpha or Chief, but I know that those are roles that he would excel at. His compassion and fair thinking will lead him far. Maybe, just maybe I could help him and be what he needs.

"So, I see you made up your mind. That was pretty quick. Are you sure that you don't need any more time?" Jake asks me.

"I'm sure. Jake, I know that I haven't treated you the best and that I have taken advantage of you more than once. I want you to know how sorry I am…" I began but Jake interrupted me.

"You know what? That's fine. You're truck is finished so you are free to go," Jacob says as he turns away.

"Don't you dare walk away from me Jacob Ephraim Black! Get back here, I was not done speaking and you will not interrupt me anymore!" I yelled. I was so furious that he just assumed that I was leaving him and that he just dismissed me like that.

"Isabella, you told me everything that I needed to know. What more do you possibly have to say?" Jake questioned.

"First of all stop calling me Isabella. You know that I hate that. Second you will listen to everything that I have to say because this will only happen once," I smirked. I could see Sam's face come over him, but I knew what I had to say next would wipe it clean off his face.

"You're right. Almost everything that you said was true. But, I have always known who and what you are, what he is; it just never bothered me. It's the same as me being white and you being Native American. It's just who you are. What I'm trying to say is…I choose you. I choose warm sodas in the Taj while you work on a car. I choose long walks on the beach, splashing in tide pools, and sitting on our driftwood tree. I choose the bellyaches I get when you make me laugh so hard that I feel like crying. I choose you and all of the love and care that you have always shown me," I said moving to him and making him back up.

Once he was up against my truck I let my fingers play down his broad bare chest. I could see that he was trying not to move as I felt him up. I tried not to look at him, but I felt drawn to his chocolate orbs. I could see so much love there that it made me weak in the knees. With as rumble Jake pulled me up against him and kissed me like never before. Both his first kiss and the one on the mountain paled in comparison to this.

"Damn Bells, I thought that I almost lost you," Jake said in between small kisses all over my face.

"Well, it's a good thing that almost is never enough," I told him.


End file.
